On why I am truly the Goddess of Misfortune

Why am I the Goddess of Misfortune?

I have excellent proof that I am, in fact, possessed of more-than-my-fair-share of luck. It's like a superpower! It's just that most of it is bad.

To wit, in one very recent fifteen day period, I awoke with a terrible bout of carpal tunnel syndrome which rendered my left hand useless for three days, discovered that my health insurance provider was attempting to retroactively drop my insurance coverage eight months after we'd bought my annual policy, drove my husband's car into a telephone pole while pulling out of a parking lot (taking out the hood, the front bumper, the radiator and the air conditioning compressor to the tune of four thousand dollars), subsequently got whiplash from said incident, and ended up with a staph infection (from, apparently, a hangnail) in my left thumb which caused it to swell like I'd just smacked it with a hammer.

April was a very cruel month, alas. At least we had car insurance and antibiotics are cheap.

This appears to be an inherited trait. When I called to bemoan my ill luck to my Auntie Barbie, she informed me that what was wrong with me was that I was born a member of our family, and we pretty much all have mostly rotten luck. My great-grandfather Aubrey apparently used to tell people he'd have no luck at all if not for bad, and this is a trait I sincerely wish I had not inherited.

I could give more examples--the tendency I have for anything bad that will happen in the month of July tending to occur directly on my birthday, for instance, or the fact that after something like nine years of schooling I finally managed to graduate law school into the worst legal recession in fifty years comes to mind. But I will resist for now (I might need something to blog about later), and leave it at that I appear to be an epicenter for bizarre happenings, legal technicalities, medical mysteries, and credibility-stretching coincidences. I have not lost my sense of humor. This is perhaps good, because I'm not entirely sure what I'd do if I wasn't able to find my own less-than-ideal present circumstances somewhat funny.

I live in interesting times. Perhaps you will find them amusing.